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一篇很不錯的文章-關於婚姻[英文]


Lv1 lingyilin

文章419

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發表日期2010年8月27日

2010-08-27

 

昨天在剪頭髮時看到這篇文章出自九月號的ELLE美國版. 覺得寫得很好. 跟大家分享一下.

http://www.elle.com/Life-Love/Sex-Relationships/Till-Whatever-Do-Us-Part

簡單來說就是在探討現今[美國人]對婚姻真諦的看法是不是變了? 輕輕易易的當感覺不在時就放棄婚姻. 其中幾句話說的很好:

it is just this act—of facing a crisis and finding a way to move on—that defines the beginning of true marriage

The romantic myth doesn’t support long-term intimacy.” But if you choose to make your marriage work, “there’s no other arena I can think of that can create the same kind of growth.”

 

lingyilin 在 2010年8月27日 補充:

還有這段我也很喜歡:

‎"The point of living isn't to be in a perpetual state of fairy-tale ecstasy; it's to find the meaning of life, the meaning of your life. And the point of marriage, I think, is to create meaning, with every happy and sad memory, every hardship overcome, every kind act, every moment of acceptance, every triumph, every child, grandchild, pet, and friend you accumulate together. The point of staying married until you die is to have a witness to your whole life, to the meaning you built."
活著(生活)的目的並不是尋求持續性如童話故事般"迷幻"狀態...而是尋找生命的意義, 你自己生命的意義. 而婚姻的重點(目的)則是創造(生命的)意義,包含所有快樂與悲傷的回憶.每一次克服困境,每一次的體貼行為, 每一次的互相接受(包容), 每一次的"勝利"(喜悅分享),每一個孩子,孫子,寵物, 與一起累積的朋友. 維持婚姻的真諦在於直到你離開人世, 有人與你一同分享見證你(們)的人生, 與分享你(們)所建立的婚姻意義.
 

(翻的不好請見諒)

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Lv1 girltalk

文章1454

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發表日期2010年8月28日

謝謝分享~

人的一生就是自我追尋的過程

隱藏在人皮之內真實的內心 真正的自己

透過婚姻也是了解自己的一種方式

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Lv1 aerlingus

文章144

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發表日期2010年8月30日

請教這段

不知我有沒有會錯意,

是說 只要彼此能迎合對方的要求就可以維持下去嗎?

而不用太苛求一定要有愛的感覺?

 

Doherty, who is also a couples therapist, says marriage isn’t about what you’re feeling for each other on any given day, because on many days love isn’t even on the top 10 list. “You can’t have a feelings-based marriage,” he says. “I call it a con sumer marriage, where you’re saying, ‘As long as my spouse is meeting my needs, then I stay. But if the costs go up and the rewards down, I bolt. And if a better alternative comes along, I’m gone.’ So there’s always a threat to the marriage and couples are always asking, ‘How happy is this making me?’ ”

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Lv1 lingyilin

文章419

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發表日期2010年8月31日

 

To Aerlingus水水:
 

Doherty, who is also a couples therapist, says marriage isn’t about what you’re feeling for each other on any given day, because on many days love isn’t even on the top 10 list. “You can’t have a feelings-based marriage,” he says. “I call it a con sumer marriage, where you’re saying, ‘As long as my spouse is meeting my needs, then I stay. But if the costs go up and the rewards down, I bolt. And if a better alternative comes along, I’m gone.’ So there’s always a threat to the marriage and couples are always asking, ‘How happy is this making me?’ ”

 

關於這一段, 我的解讀應該是婚姻不應該是只靠"感覺"建立的. 那樣就好像把婚姻當做一種商品, 感覺在就留著, (所謂愛的)感覺不在了,就離開. 這樣便失去了婚姻的意義. 這樣的婚姻基礎也會導致許多威脅產生, 因為隨時都有因子讓你問你自己"我快樂嗎?" 如果你的婚姻只建立在"快樂"則相當容易你便會放棄....

 

這是我的解讀...也許不一定正確, 但我想這篇文章的重點是要告訴我們婚姻從來就不簡單, 是需要經營與一同努力的. 但在目前"商業化"的世界裡, 似乎大家都已經忘了所謂婚姻的真諦.:)

 

希望大家一起努力! :)

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