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發表日期2003年4月10日

2003-04-10
Hello to all beauties...here is an e-mail that I sent to my best friend...just telling her what had happened recently...

Because I couldn't do chinese input here, if any sisters can just do a brief summary in chinese(of what had happen to me) and let others to know...I will be very happy~Anyway, love to hear from you all~thanks~


"How are ya?


Anyhow, perhaps that we should update things a bit lor! I am having a terrible face now...oh, why when I write to you, there is always terrible things happening? Anyhow, it was last night la...I got home early, and my Mum was saying " oh, your sister saying that you look like you are planning something" I was finding food to eat, so I mumble to her "what? planning what?" " They say that you are planning for wedding" I told her, yeah...but still have to wait till I finish uni...or other wise I can't marry right? Then she start saying that she DON"T agree with me marrying Sion la, saying that he is not good enough la,,,,I will have a bad life with hi la...he is not rich enough la....balabalabalabala~~~and then she say why don't I go and meet someone else la...and I was so angry, I kept my temper down...I don't want to argue with her...then she said that there is this regular customer of my dad's business, asking my dad how old am I, and if I would like to meet their son~~~balabalabala...I got angrier~I said that I am not going to marry anyone else but Pape...then my mum said, oh, that guy is working in the government sector la, very gurantee job, won't get sacked la~balabalabala~and his parents(my dad's customer) are very nice people la, the father is even a doctor....balabalabalaba~I was so angry I don't want to talk to her anymore, so I said it is me marrying, not you. My mum goes no about that I won't have a bad life with that guy la~balabalabalabala~~~I am so upset that my mum is so materialistic, she don't care about my happiness, it sounds like that she is selling her daughter...hai~ I cired my eyes out, now I look like those pop-eye gold fish~~~...I told Pape about it...and he said that he will marry me not matter what, and if that I get really stress out, I can move in with him any time, it is just that he might need to have a second job to look after me...I want to be with him because I believe in him, I want to marry someone who will make me happy and who is hard working...I don't want to marry someone that makes my parents happy, it is me who is going to spend the rest of my life with the guy, not my parents...I think my dad is ok with everything....just my mum....I am so damn upset that my mum is such a materialistic person....

Weekend with Pape's sister was cool, she is really nice...she wrote to us, saying that she had developed those pictures she taken while she was here, and her boyfriend's mum say a pic of Pape and I, sitting on the steps in front of the Opera House, she think it is very nice and went to enlagred for us....OH~so nice....I feel sad that even Sion's sister's boyfriend's mother like us being together...I feel awful that I don't have any support from my family....really really awful~~my mum kept on saying that all my relatives in Taiwan is waiting to see a joke that I am making...she think that my marriage is going to be a joke....oh~~~

Anyhow, chat to you soon! "



I am happy to hear from anyone who can give my advise...I feel so sad now~~~
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發表日期2003年4月10日

Hi,
I want to know how old are you ? You sound like a pure girl. You don't think no money is a big problem for marriage. Moreover, you think love can overcome everything, right? Frankly,I think your mother is 50% right. Please don't blame me and think I am materialistic too....>__<
If you have time,please read some "after married article" in this website ....you will know what is the real life after married....Do you have any experience live alone? I mean support yourself in one bedroom apartment and pay for all living expenses. You should try then you will find your answer.
I used to be like you and now I know it was wrong. I don't want to make you upset again. I am sorry that I didn't say any word to comfort you...if you don't like my advisement,please ignore this message.I really want you to have a good life and wonderful marriage....^__^

Wish you happy

Tila
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發表日期2003年4月10日

Dear Midori,

如果我看的沒錯,你是在
說你的事情給你的好友聽是嗎?

不要太傷心,
父母都是認為誰都配不上
自己的寶貝女兒。
婚前都會覺得妳還是可以找
到更好的。(包括我媽,雖然她
非常喜歡,也很疼愛我男友,可是她還是會偶爾
說說,我還是覺得他配不過妳...
其實就是疼妳的意思啦)

既然是妳自己選的終生伴侶,
那就對了。
我的一位老師
告訴我,當妳結婚時,可能會
有一些人會Question你為甚麼會
選上他?這些會是跟你很
親近的人。可是Noone else會比妳自己更了
解自己,只要妳倆都是真心的愛對方,
也對雙方都有信心。就不要太在意其他
人的想法。
父母的祝福是遲早會到的,
他們現在是想試探有沒有改變
的機會。
每個父母都希望女兒嫁過去會幸福。
大部份,在他們的守舊關念裡,錢就是比較
容易帶給人快樂的。

好好的跟你父母說
他們的女兒有能力自己
照顧自己,因為這世上只有靠自己
最可靠,也沒有Gurantee的工作,
嫁先生,是要互相扶持的,
不是單方面的依靠。
我男友也是吃政府的飯碗,可是
我們從來都不覺得這是不會被Lay off的職業。
相反的,我到覺得蠻沒有安全感的,
所以我們搬回台灣後,我還是會
繼續工作。
只要你選擇的人是心
的依靠,那就對了。

祝福你ㄛ,
加油ㄛ。





 
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Lv1 yaya74

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發表日期2003年4月10日

Dear Midori ,

所以你信的內容是說你媽不贊成你和你男友的婚事. 她希望你嫁給一個有錢人家的兒子當個少奶奶.你爸對這件婚事無所謂. 你男友是非你不娶.如果有必要, 你男友會帶你“私奔“ ...你覺得很傷心為什麼其他人都贊成,唯獨你媽在唱反調.......

聽起來你媽和我媽是多年失散的姐妹.....哈哈哈哈....

我結婚前的遭遇和你其實差不多噢....我爸媽其實也不看好我老公. 因為他家只是普通老百姓..沒錢沒勢 ...我老爸一個朋友也是有意想把他兒子介紹給我.. 還說婚後要給我們多少多少錢和房子...哪是我和老公已經開始辦婚事了..他們叫那個男的打電話給我...打來我就聽..我的口氣當然很酷, 但我也沒不講話..很禮貌的講了幾句我們就掛電話..後來那個男的也沒打來了.那個男的也太沒風度了...後來我還是嫁給我可愛的老公, 辦了一場我爸媽以為很丟臉但其實很風光和美滿的婚禮....婚後我和老公開開心心的過.雖然我們沒有高級轎車和大房子, 但我們也自給自足...

婚後想想我父母婚前的態度,其實我也不怪他們 . 就那麼一個寶貝女兒,他們當然想我嫁給有錢的, 這樣起碼他們不用擔心我的生活.他們沒有認識我老公比我知道的多.所以他們不太了解我老公對我的好,和他其他旁人看不太到的優點.再來我公婆對我真的沒話說. 其他姐妹遇到的婆媳問題我都沒有. 我婆婆對我像我親媽一樣,這是從婚前就開始的感情...所以我父母就放心了..

所以反射到你.我不太清楚你和男友的經濟情況.有愛情的婚姻當然是好, 可是就像Tila講的, 沒麵包的婚姻也是不會幸福的..有沒有聽過”貧賤夫妻百事哀﹖“

所以勸你先不要被自己的感情沖昏了頭.先想想你們婚後的日子會不會在經濟上沒問題. 如果兩個人有學業和一技之長,那你們就沒問題 . 但如果不是, 你們兩個要成熟的想一想結婚的事. 等有把握了再談....

不要難過了....那天當你作媽時, 你就懂你媽的理由了. 懷你十個月和把你拉拔大的媽是完全為你著想..當然, 如果你嫁給有錢的, 她想以後也許可以沾沾邊吧....

hope it helps!!! Jean
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發表日期2003年4月11日

Dear Modori,
我上次電腦突然無法打中文,所以我就先回妳英文,希望你了解我要說的意思......不過我要說的重點是--如果你父母不看好你男友,何不讓他先工作看看,你也不要急著畢業就結婚....我跟我男友一畢業也想結婚,可是他爸給他一句話: 你拿什麼養你老婆?總不能要爸爸幫你養老婆,這樣對得起女方的家人嗎??..一針見血但卻很真實...因為我們都不知道要如何賺錢卻想結婚...後來我們協商各自工作一年再來結婚... 我第一次用我薪水付我房租跟生活開銷... 有一種...天呀..錢都不夠用,沒剩的錢買漂亮衣服了!!!以前用父母匯的錢都沒這感覺, 那時我想到如果這是我的婚後生活...好慘...因為沒父母當靠山了,一切從零開始......>__<
YaYa74說得很好ㄜ...不是要你嫁有錢人.當然嫁有錢人有現成房子跟車子,少奮鬥20年.....不過如果你認定他是你的Mr. Right,就堅持下去.然後一定要自己經濟獨立..因為"貧賤夫妻百事哀"

希望你幸福快樂.......^____^

Tila
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